BLOG 5
Celebrating
There’s points in the creative process, where you hit a brick wall or just burn out. It happens. This week, I feel like my mind has just become exhausted. Don’t despair, the creativity is alive and well. I have no ‘off’ switch for that. My subconscious mind is forever pumping out new content and I cannot stop it. This is not a bad thing. What is a bad thing, is when you force yourself to create. That should never happen. Like my previous blog, myself in a creative context, I liken my writing or process to that of surfing. Now while I don’t surf, I do love the ocean. There’s a deep connection that fulfils and enriches my soul....I think I need to go back to the ocean sometime.
Anyways, be patient, occupy your mind with something else as your mind recharges. For me, reading comics or playing the odd video game helps a lot. Hell, just going for a walk even!
This week is a funny one. I have made strong headway into writing the third ‘Furies’ book, and omg it’s so dark and violent. Just saying. Also, I’ve pretty much finished the first issue of Freakenstein-the comic book. I’m super excited and the journey has been so fulfilling regardless if no one reads it in an age, where we are so consumed by scrolling phones mindlessly and consumerism of trend over individuality, and merit is valued by ‘likes’, ‘followers’, oh my god people wake up!
It’s a baffling observation.
This is the now. Deal with it.
However, there are those like myself, your beloved black sheep. We don’t really follow the herd and do what we’re told, hit a ‘like’ button or listen to an artist because everyone else is. I do the complete opposite and if you do also, kudos.
Is there a point here right now? If you find it, congrats. This is the mind, running on empty this week after pumping out page after page of script for the comic and writing more chapters for the next book. No complaints here. I’d have it no other way. Grateful. Yes I am. Grateful to be able to write and share these creations with people who genuinely want to enjoy. This is fulfilling and inspiring and once again, I cannot thank you all enough.
This week, my band, Darkcell turned 10 years old. I am numb with joy. There’s a great deal I actually wanted to do for this to share with you, but life happens. Unfortunately. But, I have ideas, and they will surface in due course rest assured.
I am grateful also for this achievement. 10 years as a very active musical juggernaut. It feels like yesterday, memories from packing the little van and cramming in all the way to Sydney to play a gig to 3 or 4 people and loving it, to recording vocals for “Machine” in a bedroom closet with a mattress and blanket against the door to keep the noise down, to breaking down in tears backstage in Brisbane right before we walked out onstage at Soundwave 2014, and facing so many friends and fans ready to celebrate a moment, then seeing Phil Anselmo side stage head banging before chasing us down after to hug us all, to watching Rit try and keep his poker face on at jams, when we shared the news that we’d be touring with Wednesday 13(for the first time), and seeing him turn his back as he grinned, to hearing how someone dealing with depression, who was ready till they saw Darkcell and felt a joy that would lead them to get a tattoo inspired, to meeting people who share the impact of your music to seeing friendships form and people connecting through the power of music.
This is pure....
It really does, as a dear friend always so eloquently says, “enrich the soul.”
As I write this, I look at the time, and know I should be training, but to be able to sit here and write for an audience, even for myself. It’s special. My father isn’t well, and I spoke to him recently. I was gifted a small handful of “FREEK” shirts to sell. He loves his shirt. A lot. I am so happy he has a shirt to see his design and my idea together as one. Sentimental. The shirts easily could be sold to make money. I gave them away to family and Gary Palermo, who kindly helped me with the logo I designed but my skills aren’t quite there hahaha. Dad, drew the bat. That bat was the special touch that for me is so much more. It’s hard to completely put into words the depth of meaning behind it, but know that it comes from a good place. Like the name “FREEK”. I’m so freaking proud of this creative outlet. It’s far from some vessel to make money and such, it’s so much more than that.
Every week, I recycle. I literally look like a hobo, but I don’t care. I am wheeling a trolley, shipping bags of cans and bottles I collect to the recycling plant. It’s a long walk and tiring, but worth it. Why not drive? Doesn’t have the same fulfilling reward. I walk because I can think. Yes, conditions aren’t always perfect, and definitely not now with summer, but walking ....km’s allows me to just think, see the world around me and know that I am doing something good for the environment and taking steps forward to follow a dream.
I’d like to once again say thank you to those awesome people who support with recycling:
Sam &Tyson and Lumberpunks
Sachromyces- Bar and dining
Dundee’s Boxing & Fitness
My mum & sister Kelly
And a warm thanks to the newest contributor
Brew-Cafe & Bar
I’m going to extend a special thanks to Matt at “Rage Cage-Smash Room”. He’s a special kind of human, who enjoys axe throwing and a fellow “dream chaser”, who went from operating a mobile coffee unit, to taking a gamble and setting up Rage Cage in his backyard.. he now has a proper facility in Moorooka, and it’s freaking awesome! You just go in and smash...everything. How cool is that! He listened to me share my thoughts and dreams, and probably talked his ear off, but he smiled and felt sorry that I do what I do to follow my dreams. I explained that this process for me is humbling and there is nothing sad about it. He’s generously offered to pay a little extra for the bottles I collect, that will be smashed at Rage Cage. Look it up. Your welcome.
I’m also going to say thanks.....no...THANK YOU SO VERY MUCH to the many who expressed great interest in wanting to be in the FREAKENSTEIN comic. I put a call out and you answered....many of you answered and this lifted my spirits incredibly. Why did I do such a thing? Yes, I need money to finish the comic, but this idea became more than that. This became an opportunity to give something special to the people to be a part of this (hopefully)historic moment. I’m nervous and excited. But a special thanks to my editor and friend, Greg, who gave me an idea that is going to make this comic even more special for those people. Stay tuned.
Yes, Greg and I often talk. Its unique but we share a special bond that has grown from meeting as fan to artist at a gig, to becoming friends and now I consider Greg a close friend but also a mentor. He patiently listens to my ideas and even the crazy ones, and offers support and perspective every time. It means a lot. I am grateful to him for this and the time he shares. Gary Palermo, thank you so much for helping with the art etc, and just pushing to make your own dreams come to life. That’s inspiring.
Luke Houselander is a cool dude, who I don’t see often enough, but he’s helped a lot, and I am so grateful.
Another special thanks goes to Aaron Sammut, a friend and fellow writer( check out MAURICE & THE METAL), who recently has helped do some cool tweaks to my work. You’ll see in “Furies Revenge.” As I am also grateful to those who have all helped me on this journey. The most special thanks again to my family. My sister Kelly has been fantastic, as to Brian my brother and even my mum. Poor girl, listening to my ideas hahaha. Family, friends, fans. Thank you.
This was meant to be a short blog with no plan of what I was writing about. The mind works in mysterious ways my friends.
Thank you all again.
Yeah, lots of thanks expressed. It happens.
To quote a song, “It’s a new dawn, it’s a new day, it’s a new life....and I’m feeling good.”
Freek on!
Jesse